Six Tips for a Smooth Ring Exchange
During a wedding ceremony, one of the most anticipated moments is when a couple exchanges wedding bands; the rings are a symbol of unity and are a daily reminder of the endless bond that exists between them.
Through the hundreds of ceremonies that I have officiated, I have learned many lessons about ring exchanges along the way; I share six of them with you here today to hopefully help your own ring exchange run smoothly, and make the moment memorable for the RIGHT reasons.
Who should have the rings until the ring exchange?
Wedding rings are small, valuable, and a super important element of the ceremony; they are notoriously easy to lose if dropped into grass or water. Therefore, a mature, responsible human should hold onto them until the moment they are needed in the ceremony.
If you have a small child acting as a ring bearer, I recommend having an adult keep the rings safe until the big moment, and depending on how young the child is, perhaps accompanying them up to ensure a smooth handoff.
Should I have my dog as my ring bearer?
Let me be clear...I am a HUGE fan of dogs, and always LOVE when people include their fur babies in a ceremony; as long as your dog is comfortable with a crowd and there is someone who is dedicated to caring for their needs while you make your way through the day, I think it makes perfect sense to have your furry family member present.
With that said, if your dog will be part of the processional, to avoid the potential chaos of an unscripted moment (think "squirrel"...), I encourage couples to use an ornamental pouch for the rings as Rover makes their way down the aisle, and either pretend to take the rings out of the pouch when Rover comes up during the ring exchange , or put the rings into the pouch RIGHT before they come up.
What should I do about my engagement ring?
If the engagement ring will be worn with the wedding band, the wedding band usually goes on first (closest to your heart and hand) with the engagement ring on top.
To allow a clear landing strip for the wedding band, some people like to switch the engagement ring over to the other hand before the ceremony, either switching the engagement ring back over when the legal paperwork is signed, or making the switch after the recessional.
Should we have the rings presented to us on a pillow?
While a ring pillow can look whimsical in photos, they can also create an awkward ceremony snag... in the most literal sense. More than once, I have seen couples pull on the delicate ribbon to untie the rings, only to inadvertently secure a tight knot that then has to be wrestled with or even pulled/cut to free the bands.
If you plan on using a pillow, ask the person who is bringing the rings up to ensure that the ribbon is loose and can be easily untied to release the rings. Similarly, if the rings are being presented in a box, make sure they are slightly loosened and easy for the couple to slip them out.
What happens to the ring box or pillow after the rings are presented?
Once the couple has take the rings from the box or pillow, ensure that the person who brought them up takes the box or pillow back with them so that nobody has to figure out what to do with it afterwards.
The officiant typically has their script in one hand and a mic in the other, and most couples avoid having a podium at the front to help improve the look of the photos, so having the box or pillow return with the person who presented the rings helps keep things seamless and elegant.
HELP! My ring won't go all the way on!!!
With many weddings taking place during summer months when temperatures soar, swelling of couples' hands and feet are commonplace. Those wedding bands that were expertly sized just a few short weeks ago might not fit the way they are supposed to, and this can lead to an awkward moment during the exchange.
I advise couples to slide the ring on only as far as it will go comfortably (and safely) without wrestling with it, and then final adjustments can be made at the signing table a few moments later. Depending on the tone of the ceremony (if it's lighthearted and humorous anyway) a little extra wiggle might be a great tension-breaker...it's completely up to you!
I could honestly go on and on about ring exchanges, but these six tips are a really great place to start. Happy wedding planning!
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